Reading the customer reviews made me really want this shirt, but I was apprehensive about buying one because I don't live in a trailer park. Turns out it has similar effects to city-dwelling folk like myself.
I received the package with the shirt 2 days BEFORE I even ordered it which is pretty freakin amazing by itself, but that is nothing compared to what was yet to come. I didn't waste a second and put the shirt on right away. Immediately I felt as though my muscles were making love to my bones, and I had a very jazzy feeling in my pants. My confidence skyrocketed because, undoubtedly, I was wearing a shirt that had not 1, not 2, but 3 freakin WOLVES howling at a moon.
I walked to the street with a confidence that rivaled that of Alexander the Great galloping on his six legged horse down the Nile River right before he stabbed Hitler in his heart with his famous flaming 4-pronged trident. I was walking on 16th St NW in DC and the King of England bowed to me and called me "bro-ham" then offered to shine my dockers. Scarlett Johansson dropped down from the sky, showed me her boobs, then took me to a party where a dinosaur was getting it on with a blowfish. Women started throwing themselves at me, then what happened next was written in the dead sea scrolls, which I wrote right then and there after Scarlett showed me her boobs.
