The Manchester United virus:
Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.
The Man United shirt virus:
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3 months.
The Schmeichel virus:
Your PC develops a hideous, large red dot in the middle of the screen.
The David Beckham virus:
The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.
The Roy Keane virus:
Throws you out of Windows.
The Alex Ferguson virus:
Your PC develops a continuous whining noise.
The Andy Cole virus:
Your PC is unable to get anything into the inbox
The Massimo Taibi virus:
You just can\'t save anything.
The Ryan Giggs virus:
Makes your computer think it\'s better than it actually is.
These are less virulent, but still wise to keep an eye on them:
The Ian Walker virus:
Your PC will act as though it will save something, but let you down at the last minute.
The David Ginola virus:
Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.
The Stan Collymore virus:
Luckily this one doesn\'t actually work, but sometimes boots up some Swedish computers.
The Glenn Hoddle virus:
Disables your PC, blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.
The Tony Adams/Rio Ferdinand virus:
All drive privileges lost.
The Bradford City virus:
Makes you think it will go down but presses escape at the last minute.
Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.
The Man United shirt virus:
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3 months.
The Schmeichel virus:
Your PC develops a hideous, large red dot in the middle of the screen.
The David Beckham virus:
The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.
The Roy Keane virus:
Throws you out of Windows.
The Alex Ferguson virus:
Your PC develops a continuous whining noise.
The Andy Cole virus:
Your PC is unable to get anything into the inbox
The Massimo Taibi virus:
You just can\'t save anything.
The Ryan Giggs virus:
Makes your computer think it\'s better than it actually is.
These are less virulent, but still wise to keep an eye on them:
The Ian Walker virus:
Your PC will act as though it will save something, but let you down at the last minute.
The David Ginola virus:
Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.
The Stan Collymore virus:
Luckily this one doesn\'t actually work, but sometimes boots up some Swedish computers.
The Glenn Hoddle virus:
Disables your PC, blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.
The Tony Adams/Rio Ferdinand virus:
All drive privileges lost.
The Bradford City virus:
Makes you think it will go down but presses escape at the last minute.
