Up That Scotland - River Tummel - Flyfishing

Charlie_Thompson

Charlie_Thompson

Well-known member
Brace yourselves -

Set off on Thursday to our kids van at The Tummel Valley Holiday Park, now if any of you know it, calm down, she is in the owner's enclosure and does not rub shoulders with the shanty town dwellers further down "The Strip". I did have to listen to Radio 4 on longwave all weekend though as someone has cut the telly aerial and stole about 6m of coax the dirty rotters, (canyoueffinbelieveit) Bought loads of pirated meat from The In-Shops at The Galleries and was offski. Decided not to add drink to the list so I could get up bright and early and maximise my time in this beautiful part of the world (had some belter smoke anyway hahhahahhahah) anyroad, started getting didgy on the A74 but fought the feeling -








Raced the clock for the last 100 miles to get to a pub that did carryouts - burst through the doors of some tourist fleecing Pitlochry Old Mill theme pub and payed £22.50 (english) for 2 bottles of house red. Bottle of Dark Soy and a Bucket of fried rice and back to the van. Watched me own reflection on the telly for a bit (nee good seen it before) went to kip.

Up nice and early, meat sweats within minutes, lost the van keys, found them and off on my mission by 12:30pm.

I know this is not normal but need a rest - fishing report and the outrageous singer story to follow.
 
Meat sweats gone - asked one of the Polish lasses on reception which parts of the system I could get permits for - she smiled and went for a drawer but was tapped on the shoulder by a supervisor (Belarus) who shook her head and made throat cutting gestures. (:o ) Didn't get my permit so popped along to the next settlement Kinnloch Rannoch. There's an outward bounds place that sells tickets there and I was overjoyed to find out that the lad there remembered me and slithered over gushing nonesense. Well he should, he was the same dude that forgot I was steaming round in circles on one of his hire boats last year for 90mins waiting for their four wheel drive to come and pull me out. I had to go in over my tits to haul it back on shore and found them kissing their own sisters up in the local bar. All this wee fella wanted to do was flog me a ticket for a new stocked loch up in the hills for £25 -

"You can get to within a mile of it if you've got a decent 4 wheel drive"
"I drive a Focus C-Max"
"On you go then, I'll give him a ring should I?"
"No just give me a ticket from Rannoch to Tummel Bridge please"
"OK" (Och Aye)

So off I toddles.

Tired again - must make love to the missus
 
Parked up, kitted out and stumbled off through an area of open ground which looked lush and full of orchids and honey bees to find myself staggering about knee deep in bogs or teetering on moss covered bolders looking for a way off. Ended up with my rod tip in my eye once 9ft 6, how that happened I know not. Got to the water climbed in and second cast FISH LEPT ON FLY GET IN I ROCK - that was it for the rest of the day. Caught 4 trees and put my arm onto the surface of the water once to stop myself falling in on the way back. Water is not solid and got wet up to me neck. Wading out was great as I had a huge log with me for stability lookin like a goretexed Friar Tuck. Log floats away obviously then you've got to get back all on your own. (Bought a wading stick on saturday).

Fat lass in club story next
 
Got back in one piece to the car although slighty mossy and popped into the only bar in Kinnloch Rannoch - room for 8 inside and 200 in the smoking awning. Tried to sip my pint as a group of locals 35+ in years thought it was funny to hurl a rubber ball at the hole in the pool table whist one of their dogs went nutso after it. There's only so many times an angler can put up with a ball in his face after paying £3:70 for a pint of Stella and a packet of scampi fries - I managed 4 then drove back to the hell that is the Treetops Clubhouse Tummel Valley Holiday Park. (I swallowed a bottle of wine and smoked a massive double cloud of doom lung before braving it) Sat outside and got talking to some loon from Bath, I said oh yeah Clifton Suspension Bridge (oops) and he was telling me about all the fights they'd have on the bridge. The entertainment indoors, once Biffo the lion had been slashed to pieces by the 4year olds with razors, was a fat lass with huge lotties badly singing cover versions of songs that were crap the first time round, through a sound system stolen from a post office. I stayed outside, off the little ell head by this time and noticed a gap in the curtains that blocked us smokers view of the stage. This gap corresponded with the exact spot the singing wife had to occupy on stage. Get in I thought, Looking at breasts through a letter box, However, a speaker on a stand obscured the tremendous top half, clad barely in black velevet and sparkles (spittle possibly) All I could see was the pot belly - the belly of a woman totally occupied with her vocal performance and making no effort to suck it up, it scared me after about an hour so bought some curly chips and went home ready for another early start -

Fish to follow
 
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why do i have tears running down my cheeks after i read your posts ell

where did les dawson start out
gaan for it kidda
 
Got up early next day about 12:30pm Finished off the remaining meat and headed into Pitlochry. Fantastic new tackle shop - god bless the previous owner never done me no harm. Fished lower Tummel expecting to get moved on by the Salmon lads, found a great new way onto the water - Moulinearn Crossing and got to the river to see fish rising all over the knot. Took me 60 mins to tackle up as I couldn't get a grip on myself, when I finally did I was that excited it was around my own neck so had to fight myself off for a while, I won eventually. Chucked everything at the little rascals, everything, donking them on the heads even, for nowt. (It wasn't just me 2 other locals were bombarding them with secret stuff and had no luck) They stopped that carry on after a while so I mooched off to another pool , Hoyed a few small nymphs in and had one one that took off 4 ft in the air, then spat the hook, another that hung on deep - I could see it flashing in the water and when the hook came free it nearly took my eye out. Didn't stay there long (about 6 hours) as I know the pros move regularly

Went home and managed to get some more meat down and cracked the radio 4 thing on LW - Listened to the radio whilst staring at the telly.

Got up early the next day 1:30pm and drove home
 
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