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1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having s*x in a single bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 7:00 am is when you get up, not when you get in.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the News and Weather Channels.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up"
8. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those f**king kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Diet Pal instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a girl, you go to the drug chemist for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A £0.99 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't
apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt!
2. Having s*x in a single bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 7:00 am is when you get up, not when you get in.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the News and Weather Channels.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up"
8. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those f**king kids next door
won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Diet Pal instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a girl, you go to the drug chemist for ibuprofen and antacid,
not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A £0.99 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going
to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't
apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt!
