KeithB
Moderator
A man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house yellin
to his wife, \"Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery! All
£10,000,000....\"Woooohooo!!!!
That\'s great sweetie\" she replies. \"Do I pack for the beach or the
mountains?\"
\"Who cares\", he replies, \"Just f**k off!\"
A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the
side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings
it into the car. She says \"Look, it\'s shivering, it must be cold. What
should I do?
\"Her husband replies \"Put it between your legs to keep it warm.
She asks, \"What about the smell?\"
He says, \"Hold its nose.\"
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his
wife the purchase he just made.
\"Olympic condoms?\" she blurts, \"What makes them so special?\"
\"There are three colours\", he replies, \"Gold, Silver and Bronze\".
\"What colour are you going to wear tonight?\", she asks cheekily.
\"Gold of course\", says the man proudly.
The wife responds, \"Why don\'t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you
came second for a change!!
The new American Marine Captain was assigned to an Irish
Regiment in a remote post in the Lebanese desert. During his first
inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Irish Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
\"Well, sir\" is the nervous reply.
\"As you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes
the men have m-m-m....urges. That\'s why we have the camel, sir.\"
The American Captain says, \"I can\'t say that I condone this, but I
understand about urges, so the camel can stay.\"
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his
own urges.
Crazy with passion, he asks the Irish Sergeant to bring the camel to
his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it,
pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane s*x with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the Sergeant, \"Is that how the Irish do it?
\"Uh, no sir\", the Sergeant replies. \"They usually just ride the camel
into town where the girls are.\"
to his wife, \"Pack your bags baby, I just won the lottery! All
£10,000,000....\"Woooohooo!!!!
That\'s great sweetie\" she replies. \"Do I pack for the beach or the
mountains?\"
\"Who cares\", he replies, \"Just f**k off!\"
A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the
side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings
it into the car. She says \"Look, it\'s shivering, it must be cold. What
should I do?
\"Her husband replies \"Put it between your legs to keep it warm.
She asks, \"What about the smell?\"
He says, \"Hold its nose.\"
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his
wife the purchase he just made.
\"Olympic condoms?\" she blurts, \"What makes them so special?\"
\"There are three colours\", he replies, \"Gold, Silver and Bronze\".
\"What colour are you going to wear tonight?\", she asks cheekily.
\"Gold of course\", says the man proudly.
The wife responds, \"Why don\'t you wear Silver, it would be nice if you
came second for a change!!
The new American Marine Captain was assigned to an Irish
Regiment in a remote post in the Lebanese desert. During his first
inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Irish Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
\"Well, sir\" is the nervous reply.
\"As you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes
the men have m-m-m....urges. That\'s why we have the camel, sir.\"
The American Captain says, \"I can\'t say that I condone this, but I
understand about urges, so the camel can stay.\"
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his
own urges.
Crazy with passion, he asks the Irish Sergeant to bring the camel to
his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it,
pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane s*x with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the Sergeant, \"Is that how the Irish do it?
\"Uh, no sir\", the Sergeant replies. \"They usually just ride the camel
into town where the girls are.\"
