Friday jokes...

[The Great Wallsendo]

Had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one punch.

My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a poo."

 

[Charlie_Thompson]

Noah on the ark says to his wife. "I'm really bored, I'm going to do a bit of fishing" and wanders off.

He's back half an hour later. "I'm still bored"

His wife say's "I thought you were going to do a bit of fishing, why stop after half an hour?"

He says "Well I only had two worms"

 

[peter.m]

Pity I read them on Saturday