peter.m
Well-known member
> Not sure how many of these (any?) are true, but who knows....?
>
>
> Think you are having a bad day?
>
>
> Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
> forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
> male
> was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
> flippers, and face mask.
>
> A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
> massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
> identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
> clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
>
> It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the
> coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
> control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
> helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean
> and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
>
> You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
> Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300
> feet in the air.
>
> Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading......
> Still think you're having a bad day?
>
> A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
> kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
> into
> gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it
> burst through the glass patio doors.
>
> His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and
> bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an
> ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the
> several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her
> husband.
>
> While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
> the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the
> spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
>
> After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
> shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into
> the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his
> business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
>
> The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
> screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
> blown
> away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for
> an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
>
> As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
> asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
> started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband
> out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
> Stil having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdes oil spill
> in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
> saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and
> applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate
> them both.
> Stil think you are having a bad day?
> A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
> almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
> towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
> current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
> two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
> Walkman.
> STIL think you're having a bad day?
> Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
> pigs
> to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
> broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
> hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
> What?! STIL having a bad day??
> Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnaje t didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
> It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
> bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
>
>
>
> There now, fee ling better?
>
>
>
> Think you are having a bad day?
>
>
> Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
> forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased
> male
> was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
> flippers, and face mask.
>
> A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
> massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
> identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
> clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
>
> It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the
> coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
> control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
> helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean
> and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
>
> You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
> Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300
> feet in the air.
>
> Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading......
> Still think you're having a bad day?
>
> A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the
> kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
> into
> gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it
> burst through the glass patio doors.
>
> His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and
> bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an
> ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the
> several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her
> husband.
>
> While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
> the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the
> spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.
>
> After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
> shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into
> the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his
> business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
>
> The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband
> screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
> blown
> away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for
> an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.
>
> As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they
> asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They
> started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband
> out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
> Stil having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdes oil spill
> in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
> saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and
> applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate
> them both.
> Stil think you are having a bad day?
> A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
> almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist
> towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
> current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in
> two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
> Walkman.
> STIL think you're having a bad day?
> Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
> pigs
> to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs
> broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two
> hopeless protesters were trampled to death.
> What?! STIL having a bad day??
> Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnaje t didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
> It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
> bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
>
>
>
> There now, fee ling better?
>
