> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
> Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
> Operator: \"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?\"
> Caller: \"Yes, well, I\'m having trouble with WordPerfect.\"
> Operator: \"What sort of trouble??\"
> Caller: \"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.\"
> Operator: \"Went away?\"
Caller: \"They disappeared.\"
> Operator: \"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?\"
> Caller: \"Nothing.\"
> Operator: \"Nothing??\"
> Caller: \"It\'s blank; it won\'t accept anything when I type.\"
> Operator: \"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??\"
> Caller: \"How do I tell?\"
> Operator: \"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??\"
> Caller: \"What\'s a sea-prompt?\"
> Operator: \"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?\"
> Caller: \"There isn\'t any cursor: I told you, it won\'t accept anything I type.\"
> Operator: \"Does your monitor have a power indicator??\"
> Caller: \"What\'s a monitor?\"
> Operator: \"It\'s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it\'s on??\"
> Caller: \"I don\'t know.\"
> Operator: \"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??\"
> Caller: \"Yes, I think so.\"
> Operator: \"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it\'s plugged into the wall.
> Caller: \"Yes, it is.\"
> Operator: \"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??\"
> Caller: \"No.\"
> Operator: \"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.\"
> Caller: \"Okay, here it is.\"
> Operator: \"Follow it for me, and tell me if it\'s plugged securely into the back of your computer.\"
> Caller: \"I can\'t reach.\"
> Operator: \"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??\"
> Caller: \"No.\"
> Operator: \"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??\"
> Caller: \"Oh, it\'s not because I don\'t have the right angle - it\'s because it\'s dark.\"
> Operator: \"Dark??\"
> Caller: \"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.\"
> Operator: \"Well, turn on the office light then.\"
> Caller: \"I can\'t.\"
> Operator: \"No? Why not??\"
> Caller: \"Because there\'s a power failure.\"
> Operator: \"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we\'ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??\"
> Caller: \"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.\"
> Operator: \"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.\"
> Caller: \"Really? Is it that bad?\"
> Operator: \"Yes, I\'m afraid it is.\"
> Caller: \"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??\"
> Operator: \"Tell them you\'re too f*%king stupid to own a computer
> Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
> Operator: \"Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?\"
> Caller: \"Yes, well, I\'m having trouble with WordPerfect.\"
> Operator: \"What sort of trouble??\"
> Caller: \"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.\"
> Operator: \"Went away?\"
Caller: \"They disappeared.\"
> Operator: \"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?\"
> Caller: \"Nothing.\"
> Operator: \"Nothing??\"
> Caller: \"It\'s blank; it won\'t accept anything when I type.\"
> Operator: \"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??\"
> Caller: \"How do I tell?\"
> Operator: \"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??\"
> Caller: \"What\'s a sea-prompt?\"
> Operator: \"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?\"
> Caller: \"There isn\'t any cursor: I told you, it won\'t accept anything I type.\"
> Operator: \"Does your monitor have a power indicator??\"
> Caller: \"What\'s a monitor?\"
> Operator: \"It\'s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it\'s on??\"
> Caller: \"I don\'t know.\"
> Operator: \"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??\"
> Caller: \"Yes, I think so.\"
> Operator: \"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it\'s plugged into the wall.
> Caller: \"Yes, it is.\"
> Operator: \"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??\"
> Caller: \"No.\"
> Operator: \"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.\"
> Caller: \"Okay, here it is.\"
> Operator: \"Follow it for me, and tell me if it\'s plugged securely into the back of your computer.\"
> Caller: \"I can\'t reach.\"
> Operator: \"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??\"
> Caller: \"No.\"
> Operator: \"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??\"
> Caller: \"Oh, it\'s not because I don\'t have the right angle - it\'s because it\'s dark.\"
> Operator: \"Dark??\"
> Caller: \"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.\"
> Operator: \"Well, turn on the office light then.\"
> Caller: \"I can\'t.\"
> Operator: \"No? Why not??\"
> Caller: \"Because there\'s a power failure.\"
> Operator: \"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we\'ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??\"
> Caller: \"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.\"
> Operator: \"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.\"
> Caller: \"Really? Is it that bad?\"
> Operator: \"Yes, I\'m afraid it is.\"
> Caller: \"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??\"
> Operator: \"Tell them you\'re too f*%king stupid to own a computer
